Whilst watching Mollie attempting – and failing – to sofa surf the other day, I started thinking about how hard we as mums are on ourselves when it comes to what our babies should and shouldn’t be doing. Up until fairly recently, I was forever comparing Mollie to her more advanced peers in regards to not just physical skills like rolling and crawling, but also mental abilities too; saying Dada for example (she still doesn’t do this) until I decided enough was enough and began to embrace her learning capabilities for what they are right now.
Mollie, as you will probably know by now, is a right little character. She can light up any room with her funny little grin and giggle, but every step of her development so far I have scrutinised. I’ve thought her to have autism on many occasions and have even considered she may be mute after the health visitor told me she should be referred to a hearing specialist because she wasn’t “babbling” yet (she was 5 months old). I’ve felt guilty for feeling like this, obviously, but when you become a first time parent you’re transported into a land that is very unfamiliar territory.
I’m all for sharing Mollie’s achievements and don’t get me wrong, when she does something new I get very excited, like any normal parent… However, I don’t shout it from the rooftops. Maybe I should, but my biggest bugbear when it comes to babies hitting their expected milestones is when it’s preached to you like the child has just won the Nobel Prize at 5 months old. I get it – your baby has rolled over at 8 weeks old and said muma at 12; has a full set of teeth by 6 months and is reciting humpty dumpty by a year. I understand that the feelings you feel are those of wonder and awe at your tiny human, which is absolutely fine. In fact, it’s more than fine. But please remember before it’s slapped all over social media to consider those babies that won’t hit their expected milestones on time and how their parents might be feeling.
These babies might just be taking their time but their anxious mothers (like me) then turn to the dreaded Google to determine whether their chid is “keeping up” with what’s expected. I’m aware I’m ranting here so forgive me – the last thing I want to do is alienate anyone with my ramblings… these are just my personal opinions on this topic.
The reality of it is that all babies are different. That may sound slightly cliché but it’s the truth. I think we forget half the time because we’re so caught up in this new world of parenting that they are just babies; tiny, dependent human beings that will develop at their own individual speed, and comparing them to other babies won’t make them do anything any faster. It’s a waiting game and they will slowly but surely hit their milestones as and when it suits them!
If I can give new parents any advice then it would be to savour every stage that your baby goes through, not wish it away – however tempting that may be – because it’s really not a competition. And when the next person tells you their 4 week old is sleeping through the night (they’re not), just smile – albeit through gritted teeth – and nod. But when someone shares with you that their new baby is already smiling at 2 weeks old, you can tell them that they’re not… it’s just wind.
Oh Baby 
Love this 👍🏻
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